Mother Superior Frightens Róża Out of Her Homesickness
She was told she had "no vocation."
This account, of Róża Bialecka’s homesickness at the Dominican novitiate in France, is derived from a biography of Mother Kolumba Bialecka, foundress of the Dominican Sisters of the Immaculate Conception.
Having entered the convent at Nancy, France, Róża was very homesick. She was only 18, and no one spoke her native language, Polish. She recalled later,
… I was torn by homesickness and missed my family; when I received letters from my mother, I used to run to the chapel behind the altar and there I read them imploring the Concealed Savior to give me strength to fight that tormenting suffering…. If anyone just had told me a single word in Polish to comfort me!
Each time when she spoke about her homesickness to her novice mistress, she was told that these troubles would pass away. But one day, recalled Róża, she heard those “terrible words” from the novice mistress:
“my child, you have no vocation; you have to return to your country and your family because you won’t be a nun.” I was so terrified with those words that all my nostalgia disappeared. Apparently, this good Mother cured me with her words, coming from a divine inspiration.
Róża also had a terrifying dream the night before taking the veil as a novice, of walking near a great abyss. Her biographer recalls,
She was dreaming of high steps without a handrail with an abyss on both sides. It was dark but the only thing she could see was the horrible abyss; it was absolutely necessary for her to climb those stairs, so she started to climb there but with a great awful feeling that she could fall into the abyss. She continued praying feverishly hoping it would become brighter so that she could continue her walk. Having traversed a big part of the stairs, she noticed a small light and then it was getting lighter. Finally, she beheld the Lord Jesus as He was stretching His hand to her so that she wouldn’t be afraid. Then, due to a great happiness, she woke up.
Later, Róża told her biographer, “this dream was like an image of my life, with those heavy tribulations, darkness and suffering. Yet, the end of life would be beautiful …. There is hope only in the Lord’s mercy!”
Ten months after entering the convent, on the feast of St. Catherine of Siena in 1858, Róża took the veil and received her monastic name: Maria Kolumba.
